The Shit Sandwich That Was The Year 2014
Today is literally the last day of 2014 that there will ever be. Unless of course you believe in some kind of multiverse theory or my own personal nerd-ariffic pipe dream of time travel, that is. So...
View ArticleHere’s Why the Ferguson Grand Juror Lawsuit is Huge-Sauce
History matters. Moreover, the historical record matters most. Why does history matter? Because history revisionists are never going away. There are still libertarians and right-wingers out there who...
View ArticleF.U. Bill-O!
Dear Bill O’Reilly, Go fuck yourself, you over-privileged, out of touch, elitist fuckhead. Sorry, was that too harsh? Let me clean that up for broadcast. Go fuck yourself, you over-privileged out of...
View ArticleFerguson Police Chief: ‘At Least We Stopped Shitting in People’s Mouths for...
FERGUSON, MO — Headlines were made all over the Internet when the U.S. Department of Justice issued its trenchant report on the Ferguson, Missouri Police Department. The investigation was launched by...
View ArticleRudy Giuliani Says Darth Vader Should Be Commended for Hunting Down,...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Taking time out from a “4,926 Days Since 9/11″ luncheon, former New York Mayor Rudy “9/11″ Giuliani told reporters he “respects law enforcement so much” he thinks that Darth Vader...
View ArticleConservative Radio Host Weighing Options to Defend SC’s Murdering Cop
SPRINGFIELD, WY — Conservative radio host Chuck Omstand has found himself in a bit of a quandary. Like most conservative radio hosts, Omstand has devoted several hours in the last couple of years...
View ArticleBaltimore Becomes Newest Stop on Underground Railroad
I wanted to take a break from writing fake news stories to express a thought I had about the riots in Baltimore. It came to me when I connected the dots in my own mind between what happened last night...
View ArticleSome Americans Outraged Humans Once Treated as Property Outraged Enough To...
The events surrounding the death of Freddie Gray, an unarmed black man in Baltimore, Maryland who died after his spine was severed while in police custody have rocked the nation’s headlines. All over...
View ArticleCops: Dylann Roof Being White and Armed ‘Key’ To Arrest, Not Summary Execution
CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA — The suspect in the gruesome, racially-motivated assault on a Charleston, South Carolina church has been apprehended. Sources close to the investigation say that 21-year-old...
View ArticleFrom the Plantation to the Penitentiary to Charleston: The Willful Ignorance...
Admittedly, I have been focusing so much of my “creative” energy on penning fake news stories, that the idea of sitting down in front of my keyboard to go old school and write a more traditional op-ed...
View ArticleProper Rioting Etiquette With Confused White Guy (VIDEO)
No, no upset African-Americans! You're doing the rioting thing all wrong. Let Confused White Guy show you how to do it right. [...] The post Proper Rioting Etiquette With Confused White Guy (VIDEO)...
View Article5 Reasons We Don’t Want All Our Cops Wearing Cameras (VIDEO)
Recent events involving the deaths of unarmed citizens at the hands of police officers — notably black citizens and white officers — has reignited talk among both conservatives and liberals about...
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